From Vanity to Modesty Testimony: God Made Me Beautiful
Note: This is my testimony and is not meant to judge anyone. It is not my desire to impose my understanding of scripture and modesty or tell anyone how to dress. The goal is only to share my journey of inner and outer transformation in this area. I also want to share what the Lord has taught in this area of modesty in case it helps someone. My convictions came from extensively studying the scriptures to understand God’s heart on this subject. I also did a lot of research into early church history to see what the early Christians believed and practiced, and looked into world history to understand the origins of some of the things mentioned in my testimony.
I pray my testimony will be a blessing to you and provide some things to ponder, study the scriptures on, and pray about. We shall all stand before the Lord to give an account for everything we do. For me, the Lord convicted me to change everything about how I dressed. I will share my testimony briefly, although this is a topic where much could be said. God willing, one day I may write a book covering more on the subject of modesty, as it is a deep topic that touches upon body, soul, and spirit.
I No Longer Dress to Kill
In June 2023, the Lord took me on a journey of relearning what modesty, beauty, and godly womanhood mean from his perspective and word. This journey has completely and radically changed how I dress and view myself. It has also changed how I relate with the world around me and how the world interacts with me.
When I rededicated my life back to Jesus in April 2023, I was coming from a life of very immodest and seductive dressing. The way I looked was a huge part of my identity. Sexual freedom and feminism were major parts of my worldview. I believed that a woman could dress however she liked because I thought her body belonged to her (contrary to 1 Corinthians 6:19-20).
A Slave to My Appearance
My identity and self-worth revolved around my looks and my body for most of my life. The more of my body shape I revealed, the better I seemed to feel about myself. I accentuated the things people complimented me most about to get attention: my legs, lips, eyes, and figure.
All this was quite subconscious, and I would have denied that I was dressing like I did for attention. But I later realized that it was because I was insecure. I did not feel beautiful if I did not look a certain way when I left the house, and I could not even leave the house without applying eyeliner. I would look at myself in the mirror almost every hour, even in public.
This spirit of vanity and lust came with a life filled with perversions, same-sex attraction tendencies, and promiscuity. I even delighted in Boudoir photography, posting sexy and revealing pictures of myself online for a season. Because of the way I dressed and appeared, it also influenced the kind of men I drew to myself. Men seemed only interested in my body and did not honor me. Low self-esteem kept me in a negative cycle of seeking external validation.
But Praise God that he delivered me from this Spirit of vanity as I continued to submit to him. Through his word (the Bible), he transformed me and gave me a proper identity and self-respect.
What I learned about Modesty and What I Stopped Putting on
After a period of searching the scriptures and seeking God’s heart on the matter, I made a decision based on conviction to no longer wear trousers/pants, make-up, any jewelry, or artificial hair (including hair dying).
It took months for the Holy Spirit to help me fully understand modesty. He showed me that it went even deeper beyond just dressing. I came to understand the deeper implications of immodesty on the soul and life of men and women. And also the implications on society in general. This realization was liberating for me, and dressing modestly became a great source of joy and freedom.
I extensively studied the scriptures, church history, the history of fashion, and the women’s rights movement. I also listened to many women’s testimonies. At the last, I came away with a conviction that women putting on pants, jewelry, makeup, and artificial adornments (fake nails, hair, eyelashes, body parts, and so forth) do not please God.
My Modesty Journey and the Changes I Made
When the Lord convicted me about modesty in June 2023, I got rid of all my clothes since none were modest. I also got rid of my seductive perfume, nose rings, jewelry, make-up, and high heels.
I had no dresses to wear, but I was obedient to the conviction of the Holy Spirit. It was also difficult because I had no job, and so I could not afford new clothes. But I chose to obey the Lord regardless. I had to borrow about 3 dresses from my sister before I could buy new clothes. Eventually, the Lord provided for me, and I began to buy modest dresses and skirts.
It was tough for a few months in the beginning after I changed my wardrobe. I felt strange as I had been wearing only fitting pants most of my life. Likewise, when I wore dresses, they were extremely short, revealing, and seductive. I was very self-conscious for a long time. Applying eyeliner was an addiction, and it was tough going without it. It was also uncomfortable not having long hair to hide my forehead behind.
It was a journey of growth. The kind of dresses and skirts I bought evolved as the Holy Spirit taught me what pleased him step by step. The Holy Spirit taught me over time to wear flowing dresses and skirts that do not bring attention to my body or expose my legs. As well as upper clothes and cover my chest and upper arms. I choose to cover up my tattoos, too, even though I know God has forgiven me for marking his body.
Embracing My Natural Self
I had always hated my natural hair because I found it too coarse. To be honest, I had never known what I looked like with my natural hair because it was always hidden or changed. As a child, I always plaited/braided my hair and permed it when I was around 14. I braided my hair often until I changed to dreadlocks. I also always dyed my hair. In December 2022, I shaved my dreadlocks after Jesus delivered me from alcoholism. The dreadlocks were connected to a life of rebellion.
This is the first time in my life I have kept my natural hair. It is also the first time I have had a completely natural look without some form of makeup, nail polish, or artificial hair. Discovering the ‘Mwendwa’ God created rather than the image I created based on my low self-esteem, self-loathing, and worldly standards of beauty has been wonderful.
It has also been liberating to be free from slavery to beauty standards, keeping up with worldly trends, fashions, and obsession with how I look. Financially, it is also a blessing as I have more to use to help others rather than spend on adorning my body. God truly makes no mistakes.
Consider the Fruit and Origins of Makeup and Adornment
Jesus said, “You will know them by their fruit” (Matthew 7:16). These fashions and adornments tend to promote vanity, financial waste, idolatry, and discontent with how God made us. They also inspire lust and covetousness in self and others, and war against godly virtues, femininity, and womanhood.
The origins, inspiration, and desired ends behind many of these beauty products are also not godly. They typically tend to promote some sense of falsehood as well as seduction. The word makeup itself says it all. They hide what God has made and, in many case,s even seek to correct and replace what God made with a cheap imitation made by men. This is especially so in the case of fake nails, eyelashes, nail polish, lipstick, plastic surgery, fake or human hair weaves, and all forms of makeup and hair dyes.
“Woe unto him that striveth with his Maker! Let the potsherd strive with the potsherds of the earth. Shall the clay say to him that fashioneth it, What makest thou? Or thy work, He hath no hands? Woe unto him that saith unto his father, What begettest thou? Or to the woman, What hast thou brought forth? Isaiah 45:9-10:
The Carnal Nature is Contrary to Modesty
Women’s bodies are naturally appealing and provocative and inspire lust in men because of the way God wired the sexes. This is why, after the fall, God himself made proper skin coverings to cover up the nakedness of Adam and Eve completely. They had made for themselves fig leaves to cover only their sexual parts, but this was not sufficient.
The carnal nature is driven by passion and lust. When women take liberties to reveal their bodies, it stirs up lust in both themselves and men. The born-again Christian has been redeemed from the old nature with its corrupt desires and lusts. They should therefore not dress in a manner that stirs up lust. This is why God emphasizes modesty. “Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires/lusts.” Galatians 5:24
Modesty and Gender Considerations in Dress
I now by God’s grace and mercies, aim to dress modestly, guided by what the Apostles Paul and Peter instructed in 1 Peter 3:3-5 and 1 Timothy 2:9-10. And also adhering to the distinction of dress for genders instructed by God in Deuteronomy 22:5. Modest dressing does not save us, but I believe it is a natural fruit of being regenerated and having the Holy Spirit abiding in us.
“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair or gold jewelry or fine clothes, but from the inner disposition of your heart, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in God’s sight. For this is how the holy women of the past adorned themselves.” 1 Peter 3:3-4
“Likewise, I want the women to adorn themselves with respectable apparel, with modesty, and with self-control, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, as is proper for women who profess to worship God. 1 Timothy 2:9-10
“A woman must not wear men’s clothing, and a man must not wear women’s clothing, for whoever does these things is detestable (abomination) to the LORD your God.” Deuteronomy 22:5
Modesty, Biblical Femininity, and Gender Identity
I now no longer get my identity from how I look and cover up my body. I do not aim to draw attention to myself or my body by how I dress. Keeping natural has been quite liberating and taught me to appreciate myself as God made me.
I now, by the grace of God, love myself for who I am and how I am. It has been very healing and freeing for someone who was so attached and even enslaved to her looks before.
I discovered how to be a godly and feminine woman for the first time through God’s word and modest dress. This was strange for me in the beginning since I had been a “tomboy” from childhood. I always had masculine tendencies. My gender identity was distorted for most of my life. This distortion was caused by a lifetime of sin, trauma, demonic influence, and confusion.
Changing how I dress has taught me modesty at a deeper level. The issue of modesty is a heart and soul issue. I now understand submission at a very deep level. Before, I was opposed to the idea of wives submitting to husbands because I was a feminist. I was also very opposed to biblical gender roles in general because I exalted “self” too much.
Modesty and Cultivating Virtue
Apostles Paul and Peter both encourage women to cultivate their inner beauty rather than physical beauty. I strongly believe they both understood the innate temptation for all women to want to flaunt their physical beauty and even use it for their advantage.
Peter says our beauty should come from the “inner disposition of your heart, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in God’s sight (1 Peter 3:3-4.” And Paul says we should adorn ourselves “with good deeds, as is proper for women who profess to worship God (1 Timothy 2:9-10).“
When you are dressed seductively, it is impossible to have a meek and quiet spirit. It is also very difficult for women to cultivate good deeds when they are obsessed with physical beauty. This is because all their attention and money will go towards maintaining their physical beauty. The obsession with physical beauty also tends to make women haughty and rebellious. This attitude is contrary to the submissive, gentle, and quiet spirit that God requires of godly women.
The Spirit of Seduction and Worldliness
Many ungodly women in the Bible used their beauty to seduce men to get them to do what they wanted. It is nothing new. I found myself doing the same almost unconsciously. It all began when the serpent seduced Eve to covet the forbidden fruit. She, in turn, seduced her husband into sinning against God. This desire in women to seduce is part of the curse of the fall. (“And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you” Genesis 3:16.)
An example of a woman who used their beauty for seduction is Jezebel. She painted her face to try and seduce the prophet Jehu, who had come to kill her for her wickedness. 2 Kings 9:30 says, “And when Jehu was come to Jezreel, Jezebel heard of it; and she painted her face, and tired her head, and looked out at a window.”
Honoring God with our Bodies is the Heart of Modesty
God has made us perfect; He said that all he created was good (Genesis 1:31). We do not need to add on to what he has made and change it. I believe that is creating another image that hides God’s glory.
When we expose our bodies as women or dress seductively, we are not being our brothers’ keepers. Seductive and extravagant dressing leads others to lust after us and our bodies. When we ignite lust in others, we become seductresses. The daughters of Jesus cannot be seducers. We are not to draw attention and glory to ourselves, our bodies, clothes, and beauty. Instead, as modest women, we draw attention to Jesus through our character and good works.
It is not bad to dress well and look beautiful, but we must always stick to biblical standards of modesty. Modesty glorifies God because virtue is exalted. It also leads to fewer struggles with sin and flesh for both women and men. Immodest dressing breeds idolatry, greed, covetousness, lust, and adultery, which are all works of the flesh and sin. This does not please God. Additionally, when women dress immodestly, men naturally stop honoring and respecting them and view them as sex objects.
Worldliness is Contrary to Modesty
God demands holiness, for without holiness no man shall see God (Hebrews 12:14). Holiness within shines outwardly too through modesty. Modesty is a form of self-control and humility, which are fruits of the Spirit. The spirit of the world is one of passion and lust. But God calls his children to be separate from the spirit of this world and be holy.
“Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth forever.” 1 John 2:15-17:
Head Coverings for Christian Women
Closely related to the topic of modesty is the biblical practice of head covering in the Christian Church. This is a physical sign of submission to God and respect for gender roles and divine order as ordained by God.
In 1 Corinthians 11:2-16, the Bible says that women must cover their heads when praying or prophesying in the church. This was not Paul’s opinion, but a command and tradition for all churches, rooted in creation order and spiritual authority.
“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth his head. But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven. For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered…For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels.” 1 Corinthians 11:3-6, 10
Paul’s appeal to the presence of angels, as well as to creation order, shows that this instruction transcends culture and was intended for all churches.
Practicing head covering has helped me learn submission more deeply and walk in obedience to God. It has also helped me embrace and appreciate my identity and place as a woman.
Meditate on the Following Scriptures
The scriptures below speak about how we are to honor God with our bodies through holiness. Take time to meditate on them.
“Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely; and may your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Thessalonians 5:23
“Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.” 2 Corinthians 7:1
“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.” Romans 12:1
“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, glorify God with your body.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
My Conviction About Jewelry
As I studied the bible, I realized that the origins of jewelry in the Bible were with pagan nations such as Egypt, Babylon, and also the Ishmaelites (Exodus 3:22, Judges 8:24, Genesis 35:1-4, Exodus 32:2-4). The Israelites picked up these habits of wearing jewelry from pagan nations despite God warning them not to copy what pagans did. When God asked the Israelites to take gold and silver from Egypt, it was not meant for adornment but for wealth. This wealth could be used for trade, and later it was also used to build aspects of God’s Ark of the Covenant, tabernacle, and temple.
God asked the Israelites to put away their ornaments before he could deal with them as they were stiff-necked (Exodus 33:4-6). Jacob asked his family to put away their earrings and foreign gods before they went to worship God at Bethel (Genesis 35:1-4). We also see that the children of Israel asked Aaron to make them a a golden calf, and he used their gold earrings (worn by both men and women) to make this idol (Exodus 32:1-4). Judges 8:24 says that “the enemies had gold earrings because they were Ishmaelites.” These were pagan practices, and God has warned the Israelites not to copy pagan customs (Deuteronomy 12:4).
Apostles Paul and Peter repeated this warning against jewelry in the New Testament (1 Peter 3:1-4, 1 Timothy 2:9-10). For me, these scriptures were enough to convince me to stop wearing jewelry and I have not regretted it. The very fact that earrings and nose rings involve piercing the body to me speaks volumes. God warns us against destroying our bodies, for they are his temple.
“Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you? If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.” 1 Corinthians 3:16-17
“Moreover the Lord saith, Because the daughters of Zion are haughty, and walk with stretched forth necks and wanton eyes, walking and mincing as they go, and making a tinkling with their feet: Therefore the Lord will smite with a scab the crown of the head of the daughters of Zion, and the Lord will discover their secret parts.In that day the Lord will take away the bravery of their tinkling ornaments about their feet, and their cauls, and their round tires like the moon, The chains, and the bracelets, and the mufflers, The bonnets, and the ornaments of the legs, and the headbands, and the tablets, and the earrings, The rings, and nose jewels, The changeable suits of apparel, and the mantles, and the wimples, and the crisping pins, The glasses, and the fine linen, and the hoods, and the vails.And it shall come to pass, that instead of sweet smell there shall be stink; and instead of a girdle a rent; and instead of well set hair baldness; and instead of a stomacher a girding of sackcloth; and burning instead of beauty.Thy men shall fall by the sword, and thy mighty in the war.And her gates shall lament and mourn; and she being desolate shall sit upon the ground.” Isaiah 3:16-26:
My Conviction About Pants
Regarding pants, while the Bible does not specifically mention pants in Deuteronomy 22:5, I became convinced to stop wearing them after doing my research on the history of pants. I realized that pants were originally made for men and were designated men’s wear for centuries. Women began to adopt them as women’s wear, influenced by the women’s rights movement in the 1850s, and gradually this spread across the world in the 20th century. This convinced me that women’s pants violated God’s instruction in Deuteronomy 22:5 that the genders should be distinct even in dressing.
God desires distinction among the sexes, even in dress
In the beginning, God made them male and female. God made Adam and Eve with distinct differences and roles. The issue of the sexes being distinct and separate, even in dress, therefore, is something that matters to God. This is why he warned against women and men putting on each other’s items of clothing.
When the sexes start getting mixed up, gender roles become blurre,d and the result is that headship in society, church, and home, as God ordained it, gets destroyed. The result is the breakdown and chaos we can now see in the gender redefinition agenda that’s happening worldwide.
The blurring of genders has also led to the growing popularity of the LGBTQ+ movement, family breakdown, and collapse, societal confusion with women wanting to be like men in all respects and not wanting children, and men losing their God-given masculinity and ability to lead. I truly believe this is all connected to gender lines being blurred over the years, especially in the area of dressing.
I also noticed that wearing pants changed the way I (and other women) walked, talked, and carried myself, and made me more masculine in some ways and also more seductive due to their design. After I started wearing only modest dresses and skirts, it completely changed how I walked, sat, and carried myself, and made me more reverent and feminine even in my behavior.
I am not saying I have the complete truth on this issue. But this is my conviction after meditating on the scriptures to understand God’s heart behind Deuteronomy 22:5 in light of gender distinctions.
Scriptures to Meditate On
If you would like to learn more about what the word of God says about dressing, beauty, adornment, jewelry, head covering, and holiness, please prayerfully study the following scriptures (click here to read all the scriptures in their long form). I collected and compiled a list of many scriptures in both the New and Old Testaments that touch on those topics and tried to compile them under various subheadings. It may surprise you what you discover as you humbly meditate on them. May the Holy Spirit give you understanding and illumination in all things.
1 Peter 3:1-4, 1 Timothy 2:9-10, Psalms 24:4, 1 Corinthians 6:19, 1 Corinthians 3:16-17, 2 Corinthians 7:1,1 Thessalonians 5:23, Exodus 21:5-6, Isaiah 3:16-26, Isaiah 4:1, Deuteronomy 22:5, 1 Corinthians 11:4-6, 1 Corinthians 11:13-16, 2 Corinthians 5:10, Genesis 35:1-5, 1 John 2:15-17, James 4:4-6, Romans 12:1-2, Romans 1:25-26, Exodus 32:2-7, Exodus 33:5-6, Judges 8:24, 2 Samuel 1:24, Hosea 2:13, Proverbs 31:30, Jeremiah 4:30, Jeremiah 13:23, Isaiah 45:9-10, Hosea 2:13, Revelation 17:4, 2 Kings 9:30, Ezekiel 7:19-21, Ezekiel 23:39-40, Exodus 28:42, Ezekiel 44:18, Daniel 3:21, Leviticus 6:10, Leviticus 16:4, Leviticus 19:27-28, Jeremiah 1:5, Psalm 139:14, Revelation 22:15, Isaiah 45:9, Matthew 5:28, Luke 12:7, Matthew 5:36, Proverbs 16:31, Proverbs 20:29, Proverbs 11:22, Isaiah 29:16, Isaiah 46:4, Genesis 3:7,21
Final Reflections
God calls Christian women to dress modestly. We are not called to pick and choose which of God’s commands we will obey, but all of them. As Christian women, God has certain expectations of us which serve to glorify him as we obey. These mainly touch on submission, gender roles, and modesty.
The rise of feminism has fueled rebellion against God’s instructions, even among Christian women. This should not be the case.
God’s word is never meant to oppress us but to protect us from the enemy. His aim is always to get us to sin and rebel against God, just as he did, and just as he convinced Adam and Eve to as well.
God’s word establishes order, provides protective mechanisms, and glorifies God as each one does their part.
I pray that my testimony encourages you to reflect on the topic of modesty in your own life and to seek to please God above all.
You can read more of my full testimony of deliverance and salvation below:
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