At Rock Bottom, the Only Way is Up! What Alcoholism Taught Me
It is not what happens to us, but how we see what happens to us, that determines what happens next. Perception is everything. Jesus said, “If your eye (vision) is good, your whole body will be full of light (Matthew 6:22).” Rock bottoms are opportunities to build a new. Endings are opportunities for new beginnings. Goodbyes are opportunities for new hellos! Closed doors are opportunities to step into new ones. Everything in life is an opportunity depending on how we look at it. Perspective is everything.
Bestselling author, J.K. Rowling said, “Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”
I have hit many rock bottoms in my life, enough to become an expert on the subject, but just a little over two years ago, I hit my worst rock bottom. The thing with rock bottoms is that they can and do get lower, if we don’t bring ourselves to a halt. I hit the mother of rock bottom in June 2022. I was 40, and an alcoholic, and I had finally reached the place of being sick and tired of being sick and tired, and admitting that I could no longer ‘save’ myself. I reached that beautiful place called surrender!
Power of surrender!
For years I had tried to help myself and get rid of this problem by my own strength, but nothing worked. Everyone who has struggled with a serious addiction understands this struggle. It is a painful and humiliating journey, because the more you try, the deeper you fall into this quicksand of hopelessness. After about 5 years of trying, I surrendered this addiction which was fast killing me to Jesus! I had reached a place where no human power could help me as they say in Alcoholics Anonymous. I had tried it all over the years: self-will, motivational books, therapy, addiction counseling, AA meetings, addiction coaching, alcoholism books, changing my thoughts, changing my friends, changing my environment, changing drinks, and so forth!
My problem was a spiritual one and only God could help me. The very God I was running away from in exchange for the god of self. When I finally cried out to Jesus at the depth of my despair, he did it, and he did instantly what no one else could do. He says, “Come unto me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28).” I still remember that day, broken on my knees in my room at the rehab center I had checked into for a month. I truly surrendered my life and problem to Jesus and asked him for mercy, help, and forgiveness. And he lifted the desire for alcohol from me once and for all. It never came back after that day. It was a miracle.
I mean it when I say that not even the temptation to drink ever came back, not once. And this was someone who had ruined her entire life with the bottle. I could not stop drinking, even after losing everything: my mind, reputation, relationship with my daughter, money, sense of self, health, and dignity. I was heading downhill fast into death, and I knew it. And the worst thing is, there was nothing I could do about it. Jesus did it. He only wanted me to ask!
The end is the beginning
John Flavel, an English Puritan Presbyterian minister said, “Man’s extremity is God’s opportunity.” Nothing could be further from the truth. When we come to the end of ourselves, God can step in. As long as we shut him out and try to save ourselves, there is nothing he can do. God does not compete with human efforts or interfere with them. It is we who have to ask him for help and let him do it. These two psalms of David were a dear prayer and companion in rehab because they echoed my very situation:
“I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. They looked unto him and were lightened: and their faces were not ashamed.This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him, and saved him out of all his trouble.” Psalms 34:4-6
“I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me and heard my cry.He brought me up also out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord.” Psalms 40:1-3
I was that poor woman; I was needy, broken, damaged, and desperate without any help or hope available. Not a cent to my name, and a trail of damaged relationships behind me. I was utterly desperate, and the Lord heard me and lifted me out of the depths of hell.
He makes all things new!
Whenever I remember how life was back then, to be honest, it feels like a dream or something that happened to someone else. In two years, the Lord has completely changed my life. I am a completely different person by his grace and for his glory. I am a testament to what he can do when we surrender all to him and make up our minds to change. I was broken, had nothing, and was nothing. But now he has taken away my shame, made me a new creation, given me a good job, new godly friends, a new identity rooted in him, and most of all a new heart and a new mind.
When I was in rehab, Jesus spoke to me clearly out of the following words of Revelation 21:4-6: “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful.And he said unto me, it is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end.”
At the time I truly did not know how my life was going to unfold because I had absolutely nothing, but I trusted his words and they have come to pass.
I want to encourage you today, if you are going through a rock bottom not to give up. Something brand new will come out of the ashes if you trust in God.
8 lessons from rock bottom to help you rebuild
I would like to share a few key lessons from my rock-bottom experience that will help you no matter what your rock bottom is. It does not have to be an addiction, it could be failure, debts, a broken relationship, unemployment, poverty, depression, lack of ambition and direction, and so forth. Whatever it is, the following lessons, if applied will help you start rebuilding.
Prayer is powerful, but alone is not enough, you have a part to play as well. Faith without action is dead. You must partner with God. It is not easy to rebuild a life from ashes. Many give up precisely because it is not easy. But if you will take the following lessons to heart and act on them, things will change.
1. Get tired: You must get sick and tired of being sick and tired!
One of the fascinating things about change is that nothing changes until one gets sick and tired of the life they are living. Until the pain of staying where one is, is greater than the pain of changing, nothing changes. You must get tired of being where you are for something to change. When you have had enough then your mind will be ready to do what it takes to change!
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Anais Nin
2. Decide: You must decide to change
Never underestimate the power of a made-up mind. Everything in life begins with a decision. Joshua told the Israelites, “Choose this day whom you will serve.” Joshua 24:15. Jesus said that we cannot serve two masters. You must make up your mind that you are willing to change and be willing to pay the price to follow that decision. A decision comes with the power to act. Without a powerful decision, there will be no power to make any change. This is why most addicts relapse, and why many people go back to debilitating habits because there isn’t a completely made-up mind. The bible says that a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways and such a person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. (James 1:7-8)
3. Change your perception: What looks like the end is a beginning
This is very important. How you see your rock bottom or failure will determine what happens next. An ending can be one or two things: an absolute ending, or a new beginning. What makes the difference between winners and losers, is how they perceive their bottoms. Two people may face the same difficulty. But one may despair and give up, while the other may see this as an opportunity to start again. Thomas Edison experienced thousands of failures when trying to invent the incandescent lightbulb. In response to his so-called failures, he said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work”, and “I didn’t fail 1000 times. The lightbulb was an invention with 1000 steps.”
Your rock bottom is a step towards your success.
4. Redesign and reinvent your life: Rock bottom is an opportunity to write a new story
How many people get a chance to rebuild their lives anew? Not many. When things are going well, usually people do not get a chance to rebuild their lives. They are forced to continue with life as usual. But people who hit rock bottom, have a rare opportunity to rebuild their lives fresh as they choose. Your rock bottom is a blessing in disguise. At zero, you get to decide what you want your life to look like; you have nothing to lose.
When I was at rock bottom, I had a divine insight to look at my bottom as an opportunity to redesign every area of my life and decide what kind of a person I wanted to be. I wrote down on paper everything I wanted to be different in my life and it has happened. I divided my life into 10 key areas and in every area, I designed what kind of a person I wanted to be in each area. With this vision written down, I had something to look forward to and it gave me motivation in hard times. Do this! Redesign your life on paper, envision what your life could be like, and then start working towards it. Proverbs 29:18 says, “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” Have a vision for your new life.
5. Self-acceptance: Stop making excuses and be completely honest with yourself
Let go of the victim-mindedness and blame games and accept what your life is. Most people do not change because they refuse to accept their mistakes and instead make excuses and blame other people. You must accept that your life is where it is because of the decisions you have made. Our life is made up of a series of decisions. You are at rock bottom because of the decisions you made. Until you accept this own your current situation nothing will change because you will be in denial. Those who play victim remain powerless. Own your mistakes and accept your situation. Once you do this, you can start moving forward.
6. Radical responsibility: Take 100% responsibility for your life and the work ahead
Let go of the idea that someone else is going to save you, rescue you, or do the work for you. This is your life. Apart from God, no one else is coming to save you. Lean on God’s divine power to give you the strength to do what it takes to change your life. The truth is that other people may feel sorry for you, and even offer some help, but no one will feel your pain like you do, or do for you that you can do for yourself. People are busy with their own problems. If you keep wanting other people to save you from your own mistakes, you will only get frustrated. You got to rock bottom by your own decisions, and it is by your own decisions you will rebuild your life.
7. Change your mindset: Your thoughts and beliefs are creating your world
Proverbs 23:7 says, “As he thinks in his heart, so is he.” What you think in your heart about yourself, your life, your rock bottom, and your future will determine what happens. Our thoughts have creative power. We are made in God’s image, and this means that we have creative power within us just as he does. What we believe usually becomes reality. The Bible says that the worlds were made by the word of God. God spoke and it was. And what he spoke came from what he intended within him. What we speak always comes from what we believe. Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.”
Faith is the power by which we create, and faith comes from what we hear and believe. That’s why the bible says that “faith comes from hearing the word of God (Romans 10:17).” To change your mindset, you must start renewing your mind through God’s words. God’s words have power. I would encourage you to start studying the word of God and claim his promises and thoughts about you as truth. As you start believing what he says, your world will begin to change and transform. It worked for me! Start to believe that you can be different and start to envision your changed life. Have faith and your faith will make it so.
8. Be patient: Take it a day at a time, a step at a time.
This will likely be the hardest part of it all, but it is the most important. Lao Tzu the Chinese philosopher said, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” Every journey has a beginning. You are starting the journey of changing your life and it will take time. Be patient. You did not destroy your life in one day and you will not rebuild it in one day. Going downhill is usually easier than going uphill. Getting to rock bottom was easier than it will be to rebuild your life, but slowly but surely, you will get where you wish to, if you do not give up! Be resilient. This is your life. Do not give up on yourself.
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