Jesus Used Alcoholism to Heal My 10-Year Backsliding
In June 2022 I went to rehab for alcoholism for one month. I was broken, finished, and at my bottom. Alcoholism was threatening to kill me. My life was completely out of control. Meanwhile, I was a self-proclaimed new-age spiritual teacher teaching and writing about Christ’s Consciousness, enlightenment, oneness with God, and reincarnation.
I had published 3 books and thought I had found the truth. I had backslidden 10 years earlier and over time completely rejected Christianity but not Jesus. Unfortunately, because of my great deception, the Jesus I thought I was teaching was a false one. But Jesus is not really limited by our confused beliefs; somehow, he understood my strong deception and used alcohol to draw me back to him.
My spiritual beliefs could not free me from alcohol and perversion, and in my first week in rehab, I had a true repentance experience where I cried out to Jesus in genuine repentance to deliver me from alcohol addiction. He did it instantly. Not only did the desire to drink vanish instantly and permanently, but he also took away the lust issues. But it took one more year to free me from the deep spiritual deception. I truly believed in my beliefs.
While in rehab, Jesus spoke to me clearly from Revelation 21:4-6: “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write, for these words are true and faithful. And he said unto me, It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end“, and Psalms 16:10, “For thou wilt not leave my soul in hell; neither wilt thou suffer thine Holy One to see corruption.” I had written out Revelation 21:4-6 and stuck it in my rehab room and would read it almost daily.
I thought these scriptures he gave me were just about freeing me from alcohol bondage, but it was a prophetic word that he would actually make all things new, more than I could realize at that time because I was a captive of Satan but did not know it.
In April 2023, Jesus finally removed the scales from my eyes and showed me how deceived I was. He showed me how I was on my way to hell and how I had been serving Satan. But he took pity on me. One of the things Jesus told me clearly through Luke 22:31-32 and John 10:28-29 was that he had been praying for me all these years, as he prayed for Peter, that “my faith would fail not” and that I was his sheep, and no one could pluck me out of his Father’s hand. Jesus does not give up on his sheep; they have to be the ones to give up on him!
“Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat: But I have prayed for you that your faith fail not: and when you are converted, strengthen your brethren.” Luke 22:31-32
“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father’s hand. I and my Father are one.” John 10:27-30
God is always working, and Jesus is always working. I was truly lost, but also isolated in that no Christians were talking to me about Jesus or ‘preaching’ to me. I don’t think I would have listened anyway because I thought I had the truth. I don’t even know if anyone was praying for my soul, but Jesus was praying for me and was able to reach me himself in an unexpected way: using alcoholism as a beginning point. He is a wise God and knew the true longings of my heart. Never give up on anyone while they live. Salvation is the work of God, and it is the Holy Spirit who convicts. Preach, pray for the lost, love, and leave the rest to God. Sometimes God allows people to reach the end of themselves so that they can truly hear him, especially backsliders
“Why would any of you consider it incredible that God raises the dead?” Acts 26:8
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